“What if I will fail again?” When I failed in our second exam, the aforementioned statement lingered in my mind from time to time amidst preparing for our next exam. I honestly battled such “what if” with “what should” because I led to believe that passing the next exam was a must! Why? Such pressure I intentionally put up in myself was rooted to my Love Life. I felt there was a need to prove something. I felt I should pass because if and only if I will not make it, people will point their finger unto my relationship. Unfortunately, I failed yet again. When the result was posted and I had a glance to my ID number with a score far from the passing rate, I grabbed my sister’s hand and immediately left the halls of the school. I walked as fast as I could, yelling to her to be quick in moving. All that encircled my mind was to run away, to dissolve, and to cry in seclusion. I spent the whole night soaking in pain. I channeled into reading feel-good-verses but nothing ...
“Here’s the one thing I crave from God, the one thing I seek above all else: I want the privilege of living with him every moment in his house, finding the sweet loveliness of his face, filled with awe, delighting in his glory and grace. I want to live my life so close to him that he takes pleasure in my every prayer.” Psalm 27:4