Skip to main content

When seasons change: On closing a chapter

The only thing hardest when you were hurt is forgiveness.

It has been a month from the time I broke up with my boyfriend when the news was unintentionally cracked to me by my friend that made the shards of my scattered fragments pressed even more deeply into my already broken heart. At that moment, I leaned on to my friend’s back and wept audibly. The whimsical of negative emotions surfaced again when I thought I was slowly moving past from it. It was a deep, soul-wrenching kind of hurt not easily healed.

In a painful flashback, I remembered how he looked at me, how he held my hands, how he gave me his warmest embrace, how he whispered I love you, and how my world was laid in a bed of roses. But right there and then, all of that turned into a sham. I went home that morning and in my room, I fell trembling on my knees with my face down to the floor, desperately crying my heart to God as if washing His feet with my endless tears.

“Lord, how could You ever allow that?”

Days passed and I permitted myself to feel the searing pain from time to time. I loved. I invested. I hoped. I wished. I trusted. I expected. I prayed. Yet, I failed. I stumbled. I lost. His heart was never totally mine to start with.

Hmmmm. Life shifts. Seasons change. Events unfold. Circumstances come. Moments pass.

And a lot of times…

You. Are. Left. Unprepared. Unguarded. At. The. Most. Untimeliness.

So was I.

Taking one heavy step after the other, I wildered in a familiar place with all the memories confined in every corner. As much as I desired to dissolve, I simply could not. Sulking in silent tears has been my companion to cushion my deep wound.

One particular story in the Bible caught me in ways so personal to my situation. That’s the story of Ruth. Only 4 chapters. So simple yet speak volumes.

Ruth faced a childless, widowed, and skint situation after her husband’s demise. What could have been a marriage expecting to build a family shifted unexpectedly. Naomi, her mother-in-law, encouraged her along with her sisters-in-law to go back to their hometowns YET ONLY RUTH REMAINED.

Why on earth did she even declare to Naomi in Ruth 1:16 “Where you go I will go, where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God?”

Ruth trusted God with the unforeseen, the unexpected, and the “testing” surprise. Ruth fully resolved in herself to move through such season in her life with a heart totally dependent to God. To embrace such circumstance God allowed no matter how uncertain the path would be with a hope anchored to Him. That wilderness can lead to beautiful places because GOD IS FAITHFUL IN DESERT AS HE IS IN MOUNTAINTOP.

Eventually later in her story, Ruth met Boaz and she became the grandmother of King David and ultimately the lineage of Jesus Christ Himself.

Beautiful story indeed. Ruth chose with boldness and bravery to move past the life-changing and redefining season of her life, following God with obedience and security, and trusting Him that He will maximize each moment for greater purpose.

Now, what does her story speak to me?

A lot.

But to encapsulate it into few words, IT IS TO WAIT IN OBEDIENCE, TRUST, AND PERSEVERANCE. To go where God calls me to go. To stay where He wants me to stay. That His people will be my people and He be my God.

God protected me when I failed to protect myself. God saved me when I almost get drowned. He brought this season for me to see His hands fully at work in everything.

Dear God, like King David, a broken and contrite heart is what I offer that You will not despise. Thank You because every broken piece of me is in safekeeping with my Potter’s hand. Thank You for forgiving me and for empowering me to forgive others. Help me to start all over again. I trust You and I will wait for You to turn everything beautiful in Your perfect time. In Jesus’ name. Amen.


To my God-given friends, thank you with all the words saying thank you. Your friendship was and is continuously my blessing in disguise.


To you, thank you too. Because of you, I learned to love, to give, to forgive, and to let go. Now go. Love her with all your heart and never ever let her go again. As for me, i'll move forward. I know I'll find myself whole again with the Lord. God bless you and her. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Fixing the eyes

So their midnight conversation ended with an exchange of "good night." And there my heart, broken into shattered pieces. In an instant. At the most untimely time.  I didn't know where on this world had I drawn the courage to endure reading as each message kept on popping up as they recalled their past when I could have just closed my laptop right away so as not to let the piercing pain get through.  But I silently endured it up to their very last words while my heart was ruthlessly ripped away leaving it to smithereens.  I could have just flare-up in anger because silence was not my nature. To keep my mouth shut was never my kind. But, right at that moment, that voice, though a whisper compared to my slam-bang clatter, was a crystal clear I ought not to resist.  I knew it was God who tamed my waiting-to-explode emotions. He compelled me to be silent. To pour such dark cloud of despair to Him, even up to the rising of sun.  So what happen...
Post a Comment
Read more

Mountain lessons

2 lessons Mt. Talinis imparted to me: 1. It pays to LOOK BACK When the whole group reached the outpost after 4 hours of hiking up and down, over rocks, across streams and swamps, they decided to settle there. However, Me and my classmate (bro Kyle Windsor) thought of attempting to continue the trail and hike all the way up to have a glimpse of the lake and eventually summit Mt. Talinis. Compared to what we've gone through from the bottom to outpost, the trail from that point to up was far difficult and challenging because the path gets too tricky. Your moves have to be cautioned according to the ascending climb and indeed it was no easy feat. My body especially my legs begun to ache. That was the time when the seemingly competition was between me and the one inside my head. "I'm not going to make it. I'm not strong enough." On the way up, it was so easy to give in to these anxiety demons and just stop the whole track. How I have overcome the mental chorus...
Post a Comment
Read more

Ripple effect

Sometimes, all it takes is a heart that does not measure But only knows how to willingly give. That way, perhaps, The world can hear a perfect symphony of peace. Sometimes, all it takes is a mind that does not settle at boundaries But courageously dives into the deep waters, plunging into it, And discovering real treasures only found in the littlest of things. That way, perhaps, The world can know simplicity. Sometimes, all it takes is an eye that does not judge But rather looks behind the physical that reveals a humble beauty ready to sprinkle the light that will shine above the rest. That way, perhaps, The world can realize how beautifully created it was. Sometimes, all it takes is an ear that does not just hear But earnestly listens to what the lips plead. That way, perhaps, The world can withstand pain. Sometimes, all it takes is a mouth that does not carelessly reject And unwittingly use the most scathing words But rather speaks for...
Post a Comment
Read more