Caught in fear's captivity

Even if I know it is never healthy to fear or even if there seems to be no reason to fear, sometimes, it just gets into my nerves and I cannot simply disconnect myself from it.

Tomorrow will be our last exam for the semester but as for me, some of us, not yet. We have pending remedial as soon as we get back from our month-long community exposure.

Not yet. Just hold some more!

This has been a reality in my academe when I entered medical school. I knew beforehand it would be tough however it was totally different when I took my first step after the other, one day after the other. My seemingly bold steps turned into small steps to even standing in tiptoe. Yes, as for me, it was like tiptoeing in a rope; carefully balancing with each step forward while holding fast to whatever there is to hold on.

Yet now, I am just afraid. Undeniably afraid.

The disciples, even when they personally walked with Jesus in His ministry, even when they became witnesses of His miracles, even when they were being promised that He would rise after three days, they were there inside a jarred room with all the fear gripping in their hearts despite the fact that the women ran after them and proclaimed that the tomb was empty.

Bound by fear. This was the picture of the disciples after Jesus was crucified.

But Jesus suddenly appeared to them. Jesus was with them.

“Peace be with you…He breathed on them and said Receive the Holy Spirit…Stop doubting and believe!”

Those words came from Jesus who even allowed one disciple to touch His nailed hands and side for “proof” that it was indeed He.

What comfort that is! There is no condemnation for fear. Jesus did not judge them. Jesus did not rebuke them for all the Truths they were missing out. He simply drew close to them and breathed peace over their fearful hearts.

There are countless times when I am caught in fear’s captivity where I even feel less than and left behind. But God is inviting me to His Presence. To depend on His strength so I can walk in faith and not fear.

He comes close…until fear disappears and peace springs up!

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GRACE TUCKED IN LETTERS

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